Study shows Y5 listeners live longer, more enjoyable lives

Princeton, NJ: In a scientific study released on Friday, Princeton faculty Professor Emeritus Ping announced that people who listen to the popular musical group, Yellow Number Five, live longer, more enjoyable lives.

Ping has drawn national attention before when he perfected the advanced hyperbolic deflector, which gave the world its first close look at the potassium cycle in corn husks. Following that success, he changed focus to social interactions. This most recent study came as a result of a lecture tour he embarked on in 1997, discussing the physical effects music has on people..

Two groups were observed in the study, which lasted two years. One group, working at a local coffee shop, was allowed only to listen to music by Yellow Number Five. The other group, working at a competing caf�, was allowed to listen to the local jazz station, but not anything by the famous Portland, OR music group.

Ping and his close circle of assistants and supporters have concluded that the band's music has helped the first group, referred to as the Y5 group, live a healthier, more active lifestyle. In monthly surveys, the Jazz group, as the team named them, consistantly rated themselves with a lower satisfaction level than the Y5 group's.

The survey covered all areas of life, ranging from exercise to social interactions to sex life. Group members were asked to frankly discuss grooming habits, social activities, and mental well-being. The groups were also observed by Ping's team at random intervals to collect more data.

"This is like, so awesome!" stated Melanie Bristow, who attended the announcement of the study at Princeton University. "I mean, it's so cool to hear that this group that like everyone likes is not only good, but good for you! This is almost as wicked as when they announced that wine is actually good for your health!"