Forget everything you know about Dr. Harmann Colossus, the recently deceased lead singer of popular band Yellow Number Five. When Colossus' body was discovered, a criminal investigation was launched, fans went into mourning, and the band themselves took nearly a year before a new album was planned with a different lead singer.

To everyone's surprise, Colossus walked back into our lives on Monday, when he conducted an interview with Blister Magazine at a Portland, Oregon truck stop. While Blister refused to run the article for professional reasons, the photos were released to the press, along with Colossus' address and home phone number. According to their sources, the singer has just returned from nearly two years abroad in the Himalayas, communing with nature.

"Yeah, it all got to be a little too much, so I staged my death and lived in the mountains with the Kudzu tribe. Nice people," Colossus told us in a phone interview. He declined to inform us as to how he managed to provide a body realistic enough to fool an FBI investigation, saying only that he'd told the police all he wanted to about that. Colossus also declined to comment on the fact that our research revealed no evidence of a Kudzu tribe in the Himalayas, or anywhere else in the world at any time in history.